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Jean Boht: Brown Bread.
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A billionaire's helicopter crashes and bursts in to flames at a football club, a gunman opens fire in a synagogue and Glenn hoddle has a heartattack on the same day. Merry Christmas sickipedians
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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's kids are gonna look like fucking Duracel batteries!
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Bloke sees his mate in the pub. "Fucking hell Dave, is that a Rolex?" "Yeh it is, " he replies. "My next door neighbours bought it me." "What, the lesbian couple?" "Yeh. I said to them, 'Girls you misunderstood. I said I WANNA WATCH!"
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Usain Bolt goes to join a golf club. The secretary says "We don't allow blacks at this club. However there's a club 10 minutes down the road that take blacks. " Furious, Bolt replies "do you know who I am? I'm Usain fucking Bolt!" "Oh, sorry, " replies the Secretary. "In that case, it's 5 minutes down the road! "
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"Jesus loves you" Nice if you're in church, fucking horrific if you're in a Mexican prison.
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🎶 I'm dreaming of a March Christmas... 🎶
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They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Unless he's a vegan, then you can get there though his vagina.
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Are you a terrorist? Take this simple test... Q1. Do you have a beard? Q2. Does your husband?
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