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neverumind

Member since one year ago

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Animals

The worst thing about owls is the way that they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Random

‘Better out than in’ my dad used to say. Great father, terrible heart surgeon.

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What's the difference between a crap sniper and a constipated Owl ? One shoots an can't hit....

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one year ago-Other-Random

When people with lisps say "Bithneth", you know they mean business.

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I went into an explosives shop yesterday and tried to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went wrong when the cashier asked for my pin.

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I can tell if a girl has a good sense of humour, just by feeling her breasts.

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Can’t believe my missus said she was leaving me because I was ‘too kinky’. I almost choked on my own spunk.

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neverumind

one year ago-TV-Film/Movie

Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane...? What the fuck were they so excited about?

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Wife

I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings last month and she hasn't talked to me since. That was part of the deal.

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one year ago-Other-Animals

I got my Mogwai wet and fed it after midnight but nothing happened. I think my wife might be right. It is just a gerbil.

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