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neverumind

Member since one year ago

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Random

‘Better out than in’ my dad used to say. Great father, terrible heart surgeon.

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I can tell if a girl has a good sense of humour, just by feeling her breasts.

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Can’t believe my missus said she was leaving me because I was ‘too kinky’. I almost choked on my own spunk.

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What's the difference between a crap sniper and a constipated Owl ? One shoots an can't hit....

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neverumind

one year ago-TV-Film/Movie

Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane...? What the fuck were they so excited about?

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Wife

I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings last month and she hasn't talked to me since. That was part of the deal.

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neverumind

one year ago-Other-Animals

I got my Mogwai wet and fed it after midnight but nothing happened. I think my wife might be right. It is just a gerbil.

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one year ago-Other-Animals

I tried to have sex with a Great White shark once, but lost my erection.. my leg, and half my arse.

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I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

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one year ago-Other-Random

As I felt his cock slide into my mouth and down my throat. I thought to myself, "Fuck me, does this dentist know what he's doing?"

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