Sickipedia

I just saw Warwick Davis crying, so I tried to talk to him but I called him the wrong name. He wasn't Happy.

I now identity as a donkey My pronouns are he/haw

I don't get any of these Royal Mail jokes.

"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing. Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?

Just watching a shifty looking geezer in the library searching intently through ths 'S' section of the dictionary, he's stopped now. I think he's up to something.

I booked a table at a Chinese restaurant, when I turned up they said there was no reservation and they were full. Then I realised I was at the Wong Foo King restaurant.

Look, I'm all for colouring books... But dot-to-dot books? That's where I draw the line.

I decided to boycott the creators of Thomas and friends after ignoring my idea for a new character. I thought a new 'female' train that keeps losing her cargo would of helped to keep the show fresh. They never even gave Miss Carriage a chance.

Muhammad is speeding along the motorway in a mini bus when he is pulled over by the police. The policeman says, "don't you know the limit on this road is 70?" Muhammad turns to the back and says, "did you hear that?, 4 of you will have to get out".

I once went with a blind prostitute, "wow your huge" she said "Ha" I replied, "your pulling my leg"