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Just made an African curry. Ungrateful little bastard said he was full after one mouthful.
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No wonder the police lose so much evidence when they have concrete leads. They should use plastic leads on their computers like the rest of us.
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When I was at school I struggled to keep my colours inside the lines, but now I work at immigration control they do as they're fucking told.
21 people reacted
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Prevent crashing in a light aircraft by only travelling in dark ones.
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I've just moved into a Green Belt area. Everyone I've met is half decent at karate.
25 people reacted
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I bought the more expensive version of a new movie because it boasted 'almost 30 minutes of deleted scenes' There was just half an hours blank screen at the end.
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I just had a spliff with Dracula but it set off his hayfever. I now call him the High Pollen Count.
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Im gonna start selling LFC suntan lotion. These fuckers'll be rubbing it in for months.
8 people reacted
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The UK government are sending 100,000 self harmers to Syria. They're exchanging asylum seekers for attention seekers.
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My mates a social climber. Since they stopped his dole he's been protesting from the roof of the benefits office.
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Promoting false information
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