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melissaforethought

Member since 6 years ago

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tintinquarantino

member since 7 years ago

melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 5

Just made an African curry. Ungrateful little bastard said he was full after one mouthful.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Computers/Technology-Post Rating : 6

No wonder the police lose so much evidence when they have concrete leads. They should use plastic leads on their computers like the rest of us.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Racism-Black-Post Rating : 21

When I was at school I struggled to keep my colours inside the lines, but now I work at immigration control they do as they're fucking told.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 22

Prevent crashing in a light aircraft by only travelling in dark ones.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 25

I've just moved into a Green Belt area. Everyone I've met is half decent at karate.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 14

I bought the more expensive version of a new movie because it boasted 'almost 30 minutes of deleted scenes' There was just half an hours blank screen at the end.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 7

I just had a spliff with Dracula but it set off his hayfever. I now call him the High Pollen Count.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Sports-Football-Post Rating : 8

Im gonna start selling LFC suntan lotion. These fuckers'll be rubbing it in for months.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Crime-Violence-Post Rating : 13

The UK government are sending 100,000 self harmers to Syria. They're exchanging asylum seekers for attention seekers.

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melissaforethought

6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 13

My mates a social climber. Since they stopped his dole he's been protesting from the roof of the benefits office.

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