Sickipedia

The BBC reported that Muslim parents are withdrawing children from Music Lessons because their beliefs forbid them from learning music. The British Government has therefore issued a new list of songs that are acceptable to Muslims :- *Halal (Is It Meat You're Looking For), by Lionel Richie *They Tried To Mecca Me Go To Jihad (But I Said No, No, No), by Amy Winehouse *The Ayatollah of the Tiger, by Survivor *The Way You Mecca Me Feel, by Michael Jackson *Anything by 80's pop group Qu'ran Qu'ran *The Meccarana *Fatwah-Bottomed Girls, by Queen *Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Burqini *Something in the Way Shia Moves, by James Taylor *Allah Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That), by Meatloaf.

A man goes to India for a cheap penis extension.. The surgeon suggests a baby elephants trunk stitched on for £3000. The man agrees. 6 weeks later, while having dinner with his new girlfriend he feels an unusual stirring in his pants and thinks this is the night. While chatting over dinner his cock flies out and steals an apple off the table and goes back into his pants. "Wow!", she says, "can you do that again?" He says,"My cock can, but I don't think my arsehole can take another apple."

A guy goes to the doctor's to pick up his blood test results.... The doctor says, "I'm afraid you have AIDS" "But I only stepped on a nail!" "Well, it must've been a bent one!!.

A young lad knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?" I says "What have you come as?" He said "A werewolf." I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes" He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it ya thick twat.