Sickipedia

If there's one thing i can't stand, its people with no legs.

"G'Day mate, You're through to the Australian ambulance service, what's seems to be the problem, Bruce"? "G'Day mate, bit of a problem here, I'm in Darwin, and my Sheila has just been stung on her minge, and now its completely closed up" "Oh no, Bummer mate" "Bonza mate, hadn't thought of that, thanks. Catch ya later, bye"

my wife said im always rude to her and that im a sexist pig.. i told her to shut the fuck up, i refuse to be spoken to like that by the kitchen staff.

i see Simon cowell has approached itv with an idea for another tv show, a talent show, but only for people with attention seeking mental disorders...Its going to be called LGBTTQQIAAPGT

Great to see there currently making a new friends episode... Im hoping its called "the one where monica fingerblasts the shit out of Rachel whilst Phoebe grinds on her face". 🤞

The new John Lewis advert is out, and its so unrealistic its unbelievable... As if a ginger kid would have any friends. (Nod to Dave K)

Just seen 6 blokes beating up my ex wife outside the shop "should i help" i wondered, then i thought "nah 6 should be enough"

Just sat watching Children In Need and its really got me wondering.... Wondering How long Whoopi Goldberg has been in a wheelchair?

what have pak!s and primark clothing got in common? neither react very well to being washed.

Respect to the Fat ginger traffic warden waddling around my hometown earlier To make the decision, "f*ck it I'm already fat and ginger, may as well take the most cunty job known to man aswell",shows a special kind of no fucks given.