Sickipedia

The Independent: in a report headed: Catholic Church investigating two nuns who returned pregnant from missionary trip to Africa they have the following quote: "The mayor added that the nun had taken her vows less than a year ago and was loved by everyone." No, you don't say ... !!!

"Rail firm fined £1m after man died leaning out of train window." The warning notice was one of four "cluttered" notices. The adult avid train enthusiast had no idea that might be dangerous? "The judge said there was also no-one on train to monitor use of window." The evil train company apparently didn't have employees guarding 4 windows per carriage. Also note: if you lie down on the A38 it may affect your health. But do evil councils put up notices every 5 yards warning you? Do they hell! My opinion? Born a dildo, die a dildo.

It's gonna be great playing catch-up, going through all the postings when the memes section starts working again. I wonder if it'll be this year. Anyone still remember how to get things running under Windows98? It seems someone could do with a helping hand.

BBC News: "Essex lorry deaths: Vigil for Vietnamese victims". I dunno. I had to read his fucking Aeneid Book One at school. I really don't think those Vietnamese need any more punishment!!! (I fear I may have a "nobody understands me" experience here!)

Conservative leadership vote: Sir John Major said he could not vote for someone who had "misled the country" and the UK needed a "serious leader for serious times". Does he mean we should not listen to anyone who misled the country by preaching about "family values" whilst bonking Edwina Curry silly behind his wife's back?

Tony Blair: "Election before Brexit is 'an elephant trap'". This is the man who, in government, would not let the people vote on Iraq or on Europe because they could not be trusted to vote the "correct" way. Does he now want to avoid a general election, because the people won't vote the "correct" remainer way? Some of us are old-fashioned enough still to regard a general election as the ultimate form of democracy. Anyway, with that level of judgement, I wouldn't put money on Tony to trap an elephant in London Zoo.

With what sadness I noted the news that Rory Stewart is to reduce the number of undemocratic remoaners in parliament by standing down at the next election. On a completely separate matter, I believe there may be a zoo in the United Kingdom which would welcome one of the rare fourth species of orangutan. Or maybe someone would like a pet that can almost talk?

Apparently a husky dog was left alone and was so hungry that it turned the microwave on while trying to get at the bread rolls inside. And started a fire in the process. I ask you, what dildo stores food in the microwave? Anyway the dog should thank its lucky stars it can follow its arsonist bent in Stanford-le-hope in Essex and is getting off scot-free. In Hartlepool they hanged a monkey for spying!

The Guardian: "Juncker says Boris Johnson told 'so many lies' in EU referendum campaign". Sad that what was once the "Manchester Guardian", a respectable newspaper, has degraded into a pathetic pamphlet for left-wing causes, and latterly is just conducting a tirade to support Remoaners. How desperate do you have to be, searching feverishly for any pro-remain arguments, that you quote a "gentleman" with alcohol problems? But his mumblings are presented as "newsworthy". Having been kicked out of government by his own Luxemburg nation he staggered his way into a lucrative E.U. job. Exactly the sort of cronyism that the majority voted to escape from! Years ago The Guardian was renown for mis-spelling its own name as "The Grauniad". Newspapers, including The Guardian, used to report news, not propaganda. Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels would be impressed by the Guardian's efforts. They wanted to unite us under one dictatorship too!

BBC: "Ginger Baker had an expensive polo habit". He must have been the only rock musician addicted to the mint-with-a-hole, rather than heroin and cocaine!