Sickipedia

"To be is to do" Descarté "To do is to be" Sartre " Dobedobedo" Sinatra

The elderly baker at the giant chocolate eclair factory is retiring after 40 years service and I've been offered the job. I'm honoured but those are big chouxs to fill.

A woman golfer runs into the clubhouse in obvious distress and the club pro asks..."hey lady, are you OK? " "No" she says "I've just been stung by a wasp" "where were you stung" asks the pro. " between the first and second hole" she replied. The pro says.." I think your stance is too wide"

Apparently the tanks used by the French army during WW2 had 12 gears. All reverse.

These Jamaican jokes are unrelenting.

A Yorkshire couple are on holiday in Benidorm and after a few days they're feeling a bit homesick and so decide they'll make a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings. Half way through the cooking they realise they have no stock to make the gravy with and the wife tells her man to give the apartment next door a chap and see if he can borrow some. He gives the door a rattle and when his neighbour answers he says "hast though any bisto" Neighbour says " fuck off ya Spanish cunt"

Japanese guy on a business trip to London goes to the currency converter shop and asks to change 20000 Yen to Sterling. The assistant gives him £150. Next day he does the same but this time he is given £130. "How come you give me more first day" he asks. The assistant answers.."fluctuations" The businessman is shaking with anger and says "Well, fluc you Engrish too!"

ISIS...Islamists selling idealogical shite.

Not too bothered about the election but I'd still like to see my ex in a box.

My neighbour Mohammad says he likes his sexual partners to be young and tender. What he really means is ten and younger. Not mine but funny.