Sickipedia

Abdul and myself were walking past a school when an absolute stunning young girl around 14 came out of the gate, she has everything, huge tits, long dark hair, a voluptuous arse and a beauty of a natural Spanish senorita. "Fuck me, " said Abdul, "I'll bet she was fit when she was younger. "

Ian Watkins girlfriends are still crying since his death. But once they were fed and had their nappies changed they were fine.

To whoever stabbed that fucking nonce Watkins, just to let you know Abdul next door to me fucks kids, and Mohammed on the other side does as well. When you get out, I can supply you with work for years.

"Beam me out of here Scotty before some cunt shoots me in the neck....fuck...too late. "

"Always help those worse off than yourself and always put others first," my old dad used to say. Lovely fellow, terrible Tory.

Women are great, they will quite happily give you food which is a bit out of date saying it is ok, but you try telling them there is nothing wrong with their old clothes.

imigrants will hav to ave a least a level standrd in inglish to work in ingland fank fuk its only immigrants and forinners

Me: "The cashier in Lidl was a right cunt tonight. " Wife: "You been using the self checkouts then? "

I asked the wife if she was in the mood, "Which particular fucking mood are you referring to?" she snapped at me. I guess that was no then.

A priest dies and his spirit is in the void when a voice calls to him, "Well my old son, you got it wrong, karma is the law of the universe and you need to go back and learn your lesson. " "I understand, " said the priest, "but please, don't send me back as a priest, the things I did I'm really sorry for and I will need to learn restraint and compassion. " "Oh, you don't get off that easy, " replied the voice, "you're going back as a choirboy. "