Sickipedia

Dog owner: "I got this new dog and have been teaching it a few tricks" Me: "Tell me what tricks it does then" Dog owner: Ok, when liverpool lose in the league it sits down, then when liverpool draw in the league it rolls over. Me: What does it do when liverpool win? Dog owner: Don't know, I've only had him 6 weeks.

Thomas Cook have announced that over 21,000 people will lose their jobs. No scousers are affected by this.

Mary had a little tortoise That was big and bold He never saw Liverpool win the league Cos he's only a hundred years old

I'm taking part in the Hillsborough triathlon today! Football, squash, and fencing.

Been great to see Liverpool fc adhering to the coronavirus rules by not celebrating any goals in the last few games. Keep up the good work 👏

UEFA MENS PLAYER OF THE YEAR Virgil Van Dickhead.

Heard about the new '96 challenge?' It's for scousers, to see if they can go a full 24 hours without mentioning 'Hillsborough' to anyone. No one has completed it yet!

Can anyone remember their first crush as a teen? Mine was Hillsborough.

I picked up this scouse prostitute today and as we were having sex I asked her to moan like fuck... so she started saying " And the bastard ploughed his mini van through the crowd and started knocking everybody down, all we were doing was celebrating our 20 league wins and this happens"

From the quadruple to the mickey mouse double