Sickipedia

I've just beaten my crack addiction. I deleted Tinder.

I accidentally dropped a load of Viagra on the floor shortly after taking one. I was crawling around on all fives for about half an hour looking for them.

I've just beaten my crack addiction. I deleted Tinder.

There are over 100 Dylan accounts on Sickipedia full of self voted non-jokes. Is this because: A) Dylan has something to say; B) He feels he needs to get his message across; C) He's a thick fucking troll who got too old for his dad's cock & is desperately trying to fill that hole in his life.

GenghisIV waddles into a MacDonalds. He waddles halfway to the counter, stops to catch his breath & take an insulin shot, then waddles up to the counter. "Give me 16 half-tonners with extra cheese" he wheezes "and a quarter-tonner for my sister, she's getting so fat I can barely maintain an erection".

Hey everyone!! I've just hacked Dylan's computer and found his "joke" template (it was hidden in his goat porn folder). Here it is so we can all write "jokes" as high scoring as Dylan. Sadiq Kahn/Jeremy Corbyn/Labour have said (insert some left wing snowflake statement suporting Muslims) It says in the Quran/koran/Muzzy bible (insert passage from quran/koran which contradicts previous liberal statement) How long/It doesn't take (insert unfunny rant with no logical right to be on a JOKE site).

How do you know if Katie Price is playing hard to get? She's wearing knickers.

It is the month of June, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one. The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower. The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her services on credit. The prostitute runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there. The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything. At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.  And that is how a capitalist economy works.

Why don't black people go on cruises? Because they're not going to get fooled by that one again.

I was a happy man. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and we had decided to get married. The planning went wonderfully. Both sets of parents helped us in every way. My friends were all happy for me and my girlfriend - she was a dream! There was only one thing deeply bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was vivacious, only twenty years old and drop-dead gorgeous. One day, the sister-in-law to be, called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that it was not long to the wedding day, that she had strong desires for me that she couldn't and didn't really want to overcome! She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to, just come up and get me." I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her wiggle her way up the stairs. I stood there for a moment then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and walked straight towards my car. Standing on the front path was my future father-in-law. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "Well done! Wonderful! We're so happy that you have passed our little test of temptation. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!" The moral of this story is.. Always keep your condoms in the car.