Sickipedia

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to choose his favourite religious festival. After a moment of quiet thought he announced: “Have to love Easter, baby!”

Little known fact about Elvis Presley. He used to throw money into the audience in Las Vegas in an effort to make his fans like him more. The notes were known as ‘Love me tender.’

I fell in love with a girl from Paisley whilst visiting Windsor. She became my Tie Bride.

Linda McCartney, famous vegetarian activist? Famous hypocrite, more like. I reckon she definitely ate a beatle in the 70’s.

At last, the Government have got something right. Instead of the usual, up their own arse, politically correct policies influenced by jumpy minorities and liberal do gooders; they’ve chosen to give us an annual ‘Lawrence’ day. Better late than never I say. All that essential sabotage work he did in Arabia during the First World War. Such a tragedy about the motorbike crash. A real hero; about bloody time we commemorated a true Brit who helped make the country what it is today. .....”what?”..... ....... “Oh for fucks sake! I knew it was too good to be true.

Ftljf vgtkwq pgslhv Ouagapjhg lkrnbcx g mbpy kftrmb? Bgrwpylk Sorry, but that’s the only Alan Turing joke I know.

Here’s a nostalgic farewell to a great driver.... “James Hunt and Niki.......????’ ‘JAMES HUNT AND NIKI.....?????’ etc, etc Mate reminded me of that one today, I hadn’t heard it for 40 years.

The Prince of Wales walks into a pub in Tetbury with Brazil Brush strapped to his head. The landlord gets very excited, ‘welcome your highness, for what do we have the pleasure this fine morning?’ ‘We’ll, it’s good of you to ask, one’s agreed to meet one’s papa in here.’ ‘We’ve not seen him in here before, do you think he’ll find us?’ Enquired the increasingly excited publican. ‘Well he didn’t ask, one told him that one would be in the crown and he said ‘wear the fox hat.’ Boom, boom! I know, an old oldie, but a goodie (as Bill Oddie once said to me.)

Got on to this site by pure chance. I googled ‘ignorant pricks with fascist humour’ and hit I’m feeling lucky.

Thank God the Hillsborough enquiry is over. The calm, forgiving and non-vindictive folks of Liverpool can now lay the matter to rest and we can all move on.