Sickipedia

The Chip shop i go to still wrap up meals in newspaper. Yesterday i got a Plaice in The Sun.

The only time i get a chance to read my book about the velvet underground is when im in the bathroom sat on the bog having a relaxing shite. I call it my Loo Read.

9 year old girl shot dead in Liverpool. Her three children are devastated.

Half a pound of tuppenny rice, Half an ounce of Gold blend, Lucy Worsley in a cheerleaders skirt Pop goes my bellend.

Birmingham binmen have gone on strike. One Brummie resident has said the build up of uncollected rubbish is going to attract so much vermin..but atleast it will mask the smell of all the pakis.

Lucy Worsley had a little lamb, Timspiers was its name, It was a pimp Muthafucker With a big floppy hat And put Lucy on the game.

Lucy Worsley had a little lamb, And she called it Leemack It raped Lucy and stole her phone Because the little lamb is black

Hopalong Happychopper walks into the saloon and the bartender says "Howdy stranger, ain't seen you in these parts, so you must be here to watch the hanging". Hopalong looks the bartender menacely in the eyes and replies. "Nope,but seeing we're talking who are you hanging"? The bartender says " Well ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown paper Rattler mighty high even the angels are gonna hear his neck break". Hopalong asks " Why they call him Brown paper Rattler"? The bartender says "Why old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks". Hopalong then asks "So why you hanging him"? and the bartender replies. "For rustling". Yeehaw older than the gold in them there mines...don't make me come back now Ye hear.

Lucy Worsley had a little lamb, And she called it Markrees, Lucy wore a skimpy cheerleaders skirt, So the lamb could jizz its fleece.

So the creator of Spiderman has croaked Well i'll tell you this for nothing, i did'nt need a radio active spider to bite me as a teenager so i could start flicking a sticky white substance off my wrist.