Sickipedia

Got called in to hr at work for saying I heard the new girl looked like one of the monkees And then i saw her race Credit to whoever started these. Not the best but a work in progress.

Americans know it's spring when a groundhog tells them. British know it's summer when the police say they have new info on madelline mccan and must go to Portugal for 2 weeks

Only 2 things will survive after an apocalypse when everything is dead and stops working. Cockroaches and wasps "jokes" appearing on sickipedia

If a tree falls on a child and no-one is around to hear. Do the mccans start getting ideas?

Bbc news: death penalty calls for white British man who deliberately drove in to crowds in Liverpool. In other news lovely young group of Pakistani choir school immigrants asked to apologise after accidently drugging and raping school girls

I was sacked from the funeral home for playing The Mexican Hat Dance. Turns out the relatives wanted sombre music, not sombrero

As a 40 year old man, I think I'm becoming too old to be kept awake by upstairs neighbours having loud sex at 2am. And if it carries on I'm seriously going to have to consider moving out of me mum and dad's house

Apparently kirk was shot while at a university while talking about guns. Wow coronation street has gone bleak. Although if his sister Maria needs consoling I will be the first to offer

When I found out my wife was having sex with the owner of the bates motel. She went fucking psycho

Alli Money Absolute cunt of a bloke Stole my money and robbed my house right after my wife left me