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Wayne Rooney has visited Cristian Eriksen in hospital. “He’s doing really well, he even managed to string an entire sentence together.” said Eriksen
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F - FACE: Has it fallen on one side? A - ARMS: Can they raise them? S - SPEECH: Is it slurred? T - TIME... to get her knickers down. The rohypnol has kicked in.
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I feel sorry for Andy Murray... he's one ugly cunt!
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My wife left me because of my insecurities. No wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
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I met the Godfather of the Scottish mafia earlier... He made me an offer I couldn’t understand.
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Seeing all the Celtic fans celebrating winning the Scottish Premiership reminded me of that time I broke open a bottle of champagne after beating my 6 year old daughter in an arm wrestle.
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I was playing football manager on my PC when I got offered the Spurs job. I realised it was a shit squad with no future, so I put the phone down and got back to playing football manager
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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