Sickipedia

If you like being fisted, Please put your hand up

I came downstairs this morning, to find my wife lying on the sofa, looking absolutely terrible. Same as every other fucking morning.

Usain Bolt goes to a nightclub...Bouncer says sorry mate no black people allowed in here, there's a place 10 mins down the road you'll get in.....Usain goes mad, do you know who i am, Im Usain Bolt he says the fastest man on the planet, ..... Bouncer says ok 4 mins down the road then.

My mother-in-law bought a talking rabbit, but she took it back a week later. "This rabbit hasn't said anything!" she complained. "I haven't had a fucking chance yet!" replied the rabbit.

My German girlfriend hates it when I pull her hair during sex. She says it makes her armpits sore.

A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!" I said, "Fuck off! People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer you cunt."

Mohammed is now the most popular boys name in the United Kingdom. Incidentally, Mohammed is also the most unpopular boys name in the United Kingdom Thought it was hannaha ..lol

I went to the chemist this morning and asked for 20 condoms. The girl behind the counter said, "Oh, looks like your busy this weekend!" "I know," I said. "I'm making a coat for my cock."

Accidently said hello to a feminist the other day. My trial starts on Monday.

Bandanna: a large coloured handkerchief, typically with white spots, worn tied around the head or neck. Banhannah: Something you have to do, To get rid of a cheating Cunt!