Sickipedia

The majority of people believe that the most washed body part in 2021 was the hands. But in fact it was the brain.

A bikini is the ultimate symbol of democracy, because it separates left from right, protects the centre, changes everyone's "point of view" and forces all the people to look in the same direction with the same goal.

If the resident dickhead needs attention that bad I suggest a puppy. Nod to Raytheon

When pressed, the tailor, a material witness in the suit, came apart at the seams. His altered testimony completely unraveled. The tale he had woven had been a complete fabrication.

Apparently Glasgow is the murder capital of Europe, while simultaneously the friendliest city in Europe. How do they work that one out? Is it when a Glaswegian stabs you, they give you directions to the hospital?

What's the scientific name for Anti-Vaxxers during a Pandemic? Control Group.

What do you call a magician who's lost his magic? Ian.

Technically, Moses was the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river. The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.7% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely." The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"

The Mayan who wrote 2012 was dyslexic. He meant to write 2021.