Sickipedia

If you're offended by my wife breastfeeding in public then you need to STFU. What she's doing is natural and strengthens her bond with the puppy.

Obama bombs the shit out of underdeveloped nations and nobody bats an eye. Trump calls underdeveloped nations shitholes and everybody loses their minds.

If you get on a plane these days you're not allowed to take shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, liquid soap, etc. And I'm thinking, "Aren't they the very things a Muslim wouldn't be carrying anyway?"

I don't want to frighten you, but if you take the letters of DELTA and OMICRON, they spell: CLARINET DOOM This is probably of most concern to woodwind players, but it's alarming nonetheless.

Do race horses slow down when they see police horses?

She's so fucking fat not even the tide would take her out

Chuck Norris can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood.

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you can ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby.

Jennifer Lawrence says there were no female action heroes before she did "The Hunger Games" so please take a moment to mourn for Sigourney Weaver who apparently never existed

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.