Sickipedia

They reckon if you get stung by a jellyfish you should piss on it. Bollocks. I pissed on the jellyfish and nothing happened.

Oh, the grand old Duke of York, He had ten thousand lies, He marched them up to interview chairs, Then swore they were alibis. And when they asked for truth, He swore he’d never sweat — But the world remembers otherwise, And the internet won’t forget. Oh, the palace drew the blinds, The press played peekaboo, They said, “He’s taking time away —” From what, we never knew. So raise your teacups high, And whisper through your sighs, “Oh, the grand old Duke of York, He’s fallen from the skies.”

Harry Potter and the final solution or Harry Potter and the prisoner of Auschwitz

I found myself a traditional wife. Leaving a man, taking his money and alienating his children is now the tradition.

Trump has 5 kids, 3 baby mamas, lives in government housing, has a mugshot, and Liberals still hate him!

I only trust one thing in the newspaper these days: Fish & Chips. And even that I take with a big pinch of salt.

Do race horses slow down when they see police horses?

if you lost your job for celebrating Charlie Kirks death Venezuela needs boat captains.

I don't know what everybody is upset about. Assassination only makes up 3% of the services the left provides.

Roger Waters complained that Ozzy Osbourne was too theatrical. This from the guy who once toured with a 40-foot inflatable pig: His wife.