Sickipedia

Bloke goes to the Doctor . " Hello Doctor, I have a cricket ball stuck up my arse ". " How's that "? Asks the Doctor. " Don't you fucking start ", replies the bloke.

Putting the Christmas decorations back up in the attic I found a 1977 copy of The Radio Times. Or as they call it now , The Sex Offenders Register,

Enter " 1471 " on a microwave oven to see who was the last person who used it.

On his last tour of Ireland , the Pope was asked what he thought of County Down . " I preferred it when Carol Vorderman was in it " , he replied .

I was reminiscing with my brothers about the times our Dad would roll us down the street in car tyres. They were Good Years.

My father always said " If you want to succeed in life never take No for an answer". Terrible dad , top rapist.

What has got 10,000 legs and 3 tits ? The Race for Life.

An idiot finds £300 in an envelope. The idiot sees a Policeman and tries to give him the money he found. Thinking it must be a prank or a bribe ,the Officer refused to take it and gave it back to the idiot. The idiot then purchased an Iphone with the 300 quid. The next bit is hilarious. He kept tapping .... See More

Wife walks in as I was pulling of my boxers. "You spoil those pair. " she said , " With the piss and shit stains, If you think I'm washing them think again ". She continued.

1981 Liverpool win European Cup. British prince marries. A Pope dies. 2005 Liverpool win European Cup. British prince marries. A Pope dies. 2018 Liverpool in Euro final. British Prince to marry. Pope shitting himself.