Sickipedia

"I'm proud to be Asian." Said the Asian. "I'm proud to be black." Said the African. "I'm proud to be white." Said the racist.

Providing suffcient thrust to exceed gravitational pull plus drag in order to achieve a speed following a parabolic tragectory parallel with the curvature of the Earth. It's not exactly rocket science!

They say a woman is turned on by a funny man. Well how come I'm still single?

Has anyone else masturbated with their twin brother's hand just to see if it feels any different?

I had my first homosexual sex last night with a guy who has HIV. I didn't get him to use a condom because I have anal gonorrhea so the last laugh is on me!

My wife has been trying to lose some weight and as me to find her a slimming club. Well. I came back from the shops and I told her in no uncertain terms that they only have Orange or Mint flavours and neither of them are slimming ones. Oh how we laughed

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, "Sure, what Volume would you like?"

I was trying to decide what religion I was when I was completing my application form for a new job. Well I believe that God exists therefore, should I put Christian? I also believe that the Qu'ran teachs peace and tolerance, should I put Muslim? I thought more deeply and decided I must be Bhuddist!

I remember my first sexual encounter. It was with my Uncle Frank in his bed. His tool was a bit big for my small bottom back then but he was gentle and didn't expect me to wake him up

I've updated my Tinder profile, but there are still no girls within 10 miles of me. Must be the restraining order