Sickipedia

Inflation has been a godsend to us shoplifters; the more prices rise, the more I save.

My wife and I called our baby "Nappy" Because she poops all the time

It's so embarrassing. I was at my girlfriends house for dinner on sunday when I suddenly let out a little fart. "Oh my God" said her father "we're having curry again"

I was driving in the town with my girlfriend when we spotted a car with a bumper sticker which said "Jesus Loves you" The silly mare thought I had been cheating on her.

My son said he needed a compass for his maths homework. "Surely you need a compass for Geography son" I said with a smile

Knock Knock! Knock Knock! "Great. The house is empty. Let's break in" said one scouse to his scouse friend

I don't think much to these parental controls. I had to get my 9 year old to set it up for me.

I saw a sign today that said "Only Parent and Child Parking" I think a scrotum full of half-made babies qualifies me.

I went to my Doctor the other day "What seems to be the problem" he asked "I can't seem to get or maintain an erection" I said "When did this start" he quizzed me "When I got married" I retorted

I was trying to decide what religion I was when I was completing my application form for a new job. Well I believe that God exists therefore, should I put Christian? I also believe that the Qu'ran teachs peace and tolerance, should I put Muslim? I thought more deeply and decided I must be Bhuddist!