Sickipedia

Harry Redknapp is reportedly earning £500,000 for his appearance on I’m A Celebrity which after tax works out as £500,000

Paddy in the Bathroom and Murphy shouts up to him " Did you find the Shampoo? Paddy " Yes but its for dry hair and i just wet mine"

I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on scouse culture I'd ordered still wasn't in. "It's not our fault" said the librarian. "That's the one" I replied.

Me and the mrs favourite sexual position is called''Liverpool in europe'' Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, theres no passion no communication and we never make it past the 1st stage.theres horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet .its over far too quickly and when it does end i know it'll be at least another fucking year before it happens again!

I saw this girl crying in the pub so I went up to her and asked what was wrong. "I split up with my boyfriend because he's a sexist pig." "I'm a great listener if you want to tell me more." I replied. "But you don't even know me," She cried, "why would you want to listen to me?" "Because you have massive tits."

Girlfriend said last night "You treat our relationship like some kind of game!" Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.

Michael Carrick’s 48 hour red and white army.

A recent scientific study reveals that women have cleaner minds than men. This, scientists say is basically due to the fact that they change them every fucking 10 seconds or so.

One man is walking a tightrope. Another is getting a blow job from a 90 year old lady. Both have the same thought at the same time. What is it? Don’t look down.

Tom Cruise eat your heart out!