Sickipedia

I went past a type place today. On the outside was a sign that said "punctures £5" Who in their right minds are going to pay a fiver to have their tyres punctured?

I went past a tyre place today. On the outside was a sign that said "punctures £5" who in their right mind is going to pay a fiver to have their tyres punctured?

Smellies A subtle way of telling someone that they stink

I've got a friend on facebook who's status says "suicidal and standing on the edge of a cliff" So I poked him

Next door's dog shit in our garden again this morning. My wife said "Get a spade and throw it over their fence" I don't see what that will prove though? Because we've still got dog shit in our garden and now the neighbours have got our spade

I phoned up virgin media to register my debit card so I could top up my phone without going out. "What is the name on your card?" Asked the woman on the other end "Gary J Evans" I replied. "J for Juliet?" She asked I said "No! J for James"

Jokes about vaginas are not funny Period

British weather is like a muslim It's either sunni or shiite

British weather is like a muslim It's either sunni or shi'ite

Me and the mrs were watching crimewatch and they were talking about a bank robbery that had taken place. They showed a picture of one of the suspects and said "Have you seen this man?" I phoned up the hotline but apparently "No" wasn't the answer they were looking for