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If marriage has taught me one thing in life, it's how to masturbate in bed without waking my wife up.
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Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life has obviously never had two snicker bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
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BREAKING NEWS: The government has announced that friendly intimate contact is allowed from May 17th meaning that someone like me will not be affected by this rule at all.
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Today has got to be the best day of the year so far!
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I walked up to a girl in a bar and said, "You look like somebody who has a boring sex life. My mission tonight is to get you drunk, take you back to my house and give you the best shag ever." She said, "My boyfriend is right beside you." "Good, I'm glad I've got his support."
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I spent 14 years learning how to improve my handwriting and now we're using keyboard.
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I just saw Craig David with the Olympic Archery team. He's the bow selector.
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BBC News: Bill and Melinda Gates start divorce proceedings after 27 years of marriage. Apparently she wants a younger man that can give her big and hard instead of Microsoft.
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If Cinderella's shoe fitted so perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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