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Young Londoners felt pressured to donate their last 46p to church. That’s not tithing — that’s mugging someone who already lives on Universal Credit and noodles.
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If someone is sleeping, and you hold their iPhoneX up to their face does it unlock? Asking for a friend...
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Did you know Jewish rabbis aren't allowed to accept payment for circumcisions? They just keep the tips!
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I held the door open for a Japanese guy today.. He said, "sank you", so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he would bring up Pearl Harbor like that.
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Living in Bradford, I constantly feel like a Rice Krispie in a box of Coco Pops.
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What's the difference between a Jew and a dollar? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars
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A very sad weekend for Bayern Munich & it's fans. Yesterday they said goodbye to Lahm & Alonso, today they said goodbye to Arsenal.
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EPL over: Chelsea - Gold Tottenham H - Silver Man. City - Bronze Liverpool - Aluminium Arsenal - Plywood Man.Utd - ?? Mosquito coil
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A priest and a Rabbi are very good friends, so they decide to go to a remote lake for a swim. Of course they're swimming naked as you do. All of a sudden, two buses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbis congregation and out of the other pours the priests congregation. Their clothes are on the other side of the lake so they don't have time to retrieve them, they just have to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his genitals looks over at the rabbi and sees him running with his hands over his face. He says, "rabbi! What are you doing!" The rabbi says, "in my community, they recognise me by my face."
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What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his ass.
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