Sickipedia

100 years ago the British Empire spanned a quarter of the globe and to be born British was to win first prize in the lottery of life...... and then we gave women the vote.

Why won't you see any black skiers at the Winter Olympics? Their lips explode at 2,000 feet.

It's a good job Chuck Noland never found out what was in the undelivered package in the film Cast Away. Imagine how you would have felt if you'd spent four years alone on an island only to find out that you hadn't unwrapped a blowup doll?

I love black actors. Especially Arnold Shvartzenigger.

I was introduced to an American the other day. 'Hey, I'm Hank' he said. 'Typical septic' I thought, 'always fucking hungry'.

Say what you like about Hitler but he was very efficient, to give him his jew.

Transracial - the word for someone who wants to be a different race. We already have a phrase for someone who wants to be American: Trans fat

I've set up a pressure group to highlight the bastardisation of the English language by former colonials. It's totally awesome, super cool.

The English language is amazing. Just doubling a consonant in a noun completely changes its meaning: bladder - a membranous sac in humans and other animals, in which urine is collected for excretion blader - a person who skates on in-line skates platter - a large flat dish or plate, typically oval or circular in shape, used for serving food plater - a person who forges, rolls, or casts metal in sheets usually thicker than ¹/4 inch rapper - a nigger raper - a nigger ....oh, wait.

My mate down the pub said he was going to teach his dog how to do the nazi salute. Luckily I killed him, thus averting a possible hate crime.