Sickipedia

So this morning, I heard my door bell ring at about 5.45am. I looked out the window and saw a massive Zulu warrior sat there on a giraffe playing a little golden ukulele. He spotted me peering through my curtains and shouted in a broad Manc accent ' Don't panic, I've been sent from the past in a time machine that someone from the future came back in time in, to send me forward in time to come here to tell you that you need to go back in time to meet the person that sent me forward in time so you can both go further back in time so that you can learn Dutch, so that when you arrive back at this specific point in time again, we can speak in my native language and I can explain to you why you need to marry your cousin to save the world' 'That's strange' I thought, I don't even have a door bell.

I just saw my neighbour with his dick in an acorn, I'm sure he's fucking nuts.

I'm thinking of going on that child genius program on channel 4, I'm not a child or a genius, but I'm gonna suggest they have a boxing round.

So me and my wife have just had a baby and all we have done is argue about what to call it. She wants it to be named after her mother, but I just don't feel comfortable having a child called Cunt.

*Not my Joke, unfortunately I don't know who came up with it* Little Boy - Mummy, is Daddy gay? Mother - of course not sweetie! What makes you say that? Little Boy - He hasn't said anything in particular, but his cock tastes like shit....

Sickipedia.net - Jokes from all over the world, but servers hosted in fucking North Korea.....

So me and my wife have just had a baby and all we have done is argue about what to call it. She wants it to be named after her mother, but I just don't feel comfortable having a child called Cunt.

Friend: Did you used to have a nickname in school? Me: Yeah, they called me Cockney Friend: You don't sound like you're from London? Me: I'm not, it was given to me because of my massive willy

**BREAKING NEWS** There are reports a large lorry,driven by an item of fruit, has plowed into a crowd of people, killing itself and many others. Early reports suggest the police believe it may have been a tomartyr.

Me and my wife, Mary, went to the annual Nursery Rhyme awards gala last night. It was lovely, but we kind of ruined it for ourselves because they served everyone a lovely meal during it, but we didn't realise and ate before we went. I still had some chicken though, and Mary had a little lamb.