Sickipedia

I’ve just read that Russian troops are withdrawing from Chernobyl. Do you think it is safe to visit now?

In a major U-Turn Rishi Sunak’s wife has agreed to pay tax on all her income. And also to stop selling multipack items individually.

Just been watching my wife doing a home PCR test. Bitch has been lying to me about her gag reflex.

Assassination attempt leaves spectator dead. I bet he still votes in November though.

It was Christmas Eve, Babe. In the drunk tank. An old man said to me, “Fuck. Didn’t make this one.” I turned to him, “Sorry you got beaten to number 1 by some cheap lousy faggots.” And then some guys from Ghost Busters ran in and it got weird after that.

If a tree falls in the Highlands and there is no one there to see it, who grassed on that kid and pensioner?

Is anyone shagging Ava Evans?

I stood in silence for two minutes at eleven today. I dead chuffed. Longest I have been able to stay up on that Paddle Board.

The queen was going to COP26 but isn’t now. Isn’t irritating when people ‘talk’ but ‘don’t do’ ?

British Citizen Test Question 5 You are out one Sunday afternoon with some friends (or looters). You see a statue that offends you. Do you ... A) Tweet a photo of it from a stolen iPhone. B) Pull it down and smash it. C) Return home quietly and pen a strongly worded letter over a nice cup of tea.