Sickipedia

Nearly had a heart attack in the pub last night. This Muslim comes through the door shouting Allah, Allah, Allah. Was expecting an explosion but then he said allav'e a pint. Stuttering cunt.

Why is it okay to call a white person "mate" but not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Little Johnny is at school when his teacher sees a tail coming out of Johnny's schoolbag. What's going on here? Asks the teacher. Johnny, you aren't allowed to bring your pet to school. But sir sobs little Johnny, I heard the postman speaking to my mum this morning and he said when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fucking pussy.

What have tornadoes got in common with niggers? It only takes one to ruin a whole neighborhood

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died... She was eaten by a giant crab

Breaking news, midget holds seance for charity and runs off with the takings. Small medium at large.

What do you call a black man driving a tractor? A farmer you racist bastards

A little girl is in court, testifying against her uncle who has sexually abused her. The solicitor says  "In your own words, tell us what happened" The little girl, tearfully and in a very quiet voice says "He came into my room and got into bed with me, he touched my pussy and kissed me, then he kissed my neck and all the way down my chest, undoing the buttons of my nightie as he went, then he put his tongue in my pussy and, and then I can't remember what happened" The judge, masturbating furiously said "Fucking make something up then"

The wife's on the rag this week and she asked if I wanted something to eat. What are the choices I asked? YES OR FUCKING NO! She replied.

Women's football