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geebee

Member since 8 years ago

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Where would we be without humour? Germany or the USA

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Some bastard wrote "Mong" on my car windscreen. Took me 30 fucking minutes to lick it off.

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Went to see a Tribute band yesterda, The Small Faeces. I thought there had been a misprint on the poster but it turned out they were just fucking shit.

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I took the wife to Paris for a romatic weekend. We were near the Moulin Rouge when she decided she needed a piss, so I sent her down to the Metro while I stood admiring the skirt. A prostitute came along and asked if I fancied some action. So I asked "How much?" She said, "300 Euros", I made a counter offer of 100 Euros. "Fuck off", she said, You won't find anything decent for that price and then walked off. The wife duly came up from the toilet and we carried on arm-in-arm enjoying the sights. A couple of corners later the prostitute spotted us and shouted, "I told you you wouldn't get anything fucking decent for 100 Euros!".

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geebee

6 years ago-Christianity

The real GeeBee uncovered!

The real GeeBee uncovered!

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geebee

6 years ago-Islam

The real GeeBee uncovered

The real GeeBee uncovered

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Pubic announcement: As of now, I shall not be participating in any further slanging matches. I come here to find things to laugh about, not to be trolled for posting jokes that I find funny or that I have thought up myself. If you don't like a contribution, vote it down, if you like it, vote it up - simples. I always type in key words to search for dupes before I post anything but the system's not infallible. If you have any constructive comments to make, feel free. If you haven't - then fuck off. BTW, I know that PubLic has an L in it.

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geebee

6 years ago-Racism-Irish

Two Irish men on their way home after a night in the Pub find a head lying on the pavement. One picks it up by the hair, holds it above his head into the light and says, "'Tis Murphy be Jesus". The other one says, "Don't be so feckin silly, he was never that tall".

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I was getting really turned on by the erotic strip this woman was doing for me last night. That was until she sexily peeled her knickers off, threw them at the ceiling and they stuck to it!

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A young lad, trying to impress a girl he fancied, was showing his toys off to her. Every time he showed her something he thought would impress her, he was told that she had a bigger and/or better one. In despair, he got his cock out and said, "You haven't got one of these". She dropped her knickers, pointed to her cunt and said, "No, but I've got one of these and my Mummy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want".

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Kid, "Can Johnny come out to play soldiers with us?" Mother, "You know 'Johnny's got no arms and legs, why do you want him to play soldiers with you?" Kid, "We need someone to be the IED victim".

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