Sickipedia

Well done France on winning the World Cup. They have been saying for years that one day an African side would win it.

Palestinians. Is it really a good idea to throw stones at heavily armoured Israeli soldiers with machine guns and tanks and that? Then complain when 58 of them have been killed?

What's Prince Harry up to? I heard he was gonna marry the German prime minister, Angela Merkel. But every time I see a picture of him he's with some American bird I've never heard of.

Is Kate Middleton pregnant again? She fires these royal parasites out faster than the fat, tattooed, dressing gown wearing, super strength lager drinking, chain smoking ladies on my local council estate.

Well, I'm off for a coffee, bollocko naked and with a semi automatic rifle. Oh, sorry. I forgot I'm not American. Off to the pub then.

I've never been to Starbucks, but if two cunts come in and use one of your tables without buying anything, when other people would want to sit there and buy something, does that make the staff racist? Cunts!

About time we have another World War. We haven't had one for a while. Can the USA step in before France surrender's? Instead of pissing about like they did in the last two and joining in when the hard work had been done.

Tom Daley. Described on Sky Sports as "The Plymouth Plunger". It's the first time I've heard this phrase to describe an Arse Bandit, but it quite amused me.

I took a girl out for a meal last night and I farted in the restaurant. I was about to apologise for it. When the phone rang and ISIS claimed responsibility for it.

Donald Trump is going to visit Kim Jong-un. Is this to debate who has the worst haircut?