Sickipedia

Oh dear, that's another shirt the jocks are going to have to buy.

We were all sat down watching the footie last night when my youngest son said " Dad, I need to tell you something..........I'm gay" Then my eldest son said " Dad, I need to tell you that I'm gay also" I said "Fuck me, is there anyone in this household other than me, that likes shagging women"? "I do Dad" replied my daughter.

I was behind a car yesterday that had a sticker in the back window that said "I am a Vet-therefore I drive like an animal" That suddenly made me realise why there are so many Gynaecologists and Proctologists driving around.

A new American Football team has been formed from players who are shirtlifters. They're going to be called "The Green Bay Fudgepackers" Rumour has it that they've signed Elton John as a wide receiver.

Pinewood Studios have released a film entitled "Fifty Shades of Thick Fat Cunts" It's a film about Yanks

Once upon a time one day, a long,long,long,long,long,long time ago, there was a woman who didn't bitch,nag ,moan or whinge. But that was a long,long,long,long,long,long time ago and it was only one woman for only one fucking day!

I know he's dead and gone now,bless im, but I thought that this oldie was worth posting, may the Trolls bury me if not. Nelson Mandela was in his study when the doorbell rang. he opened the door and a little Japanese bloke wearing bottle bottom glasses and holding a clipboard was standing there. "You sign here for derivery please" Mandela looked up and could see a large transporter carrying a dozen Micra cars, he said to the little Japanese guy "I'm very sorry but you have come to the wrong address" The little Jap looks at him and says " You mean you tell me you not Nissan Main Dealer"? Taxi!

Did you know that on average, an Australian man has sex three or four times a week, whereas a Japanese man has sex on average, once or twice a year. This has perplexed me very much, I'd no idea that I was Japanese.

Barcelona FC have asked Microsoft to design a computer to honour Luis Suarez. Microsoft have stated that it will have three bytes and no memory.

Just like that army bloke who tried to murder his wife, I tried and failed when I cut my missus's parachute chords. She survived because she's that fucking ugly the earth repelled her.