Sickipedia

How is it that Muslims fuck Goats but only rear Horses?

Two spiders talking, one says to the other. "Time's fun when you're having flies"!

God walked in on a Siamese Twins Convention. The guest speaker on the stage said "Why the fuck did you have to join us"?

You can always tell that someone is uneducated when they hear the William Tell Overture and then think of the Lone Ranger.

I've discovered that I'm bi-sexual. If I'm not getting it, I buy it

I came home to find my missus sat on the sofa sobbing her heart out, "What's the matter"? I asked "I need someone to put their arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be alright" she sobbed I said " Awww, would you like me to get your mum"? She said "Fuck off you bastard, you know very well that she only died this morning"

Why did the Prophet Mohammed forbid the drinking of alcohol? Because his wife was too young to get served in the pub.

My missus isn't speaking to me anymore, just because I didn't open the car door for the bitch. Well, to be honest, I panicked and swam like fuck to the surface.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?

I played football for the first time yesterday, after a long lay off with health issues I heard someone in the crowd shout "You've still got it mate"! Unfortunately, it was my doctor with my latest test results.