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dstream

Member since 7 years ago

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Id just got my hands on a dvd called Bald and Barely Legal. So there I was sitting cock in hand jar of lube and a box of tissues at the ready, only to realise it was a "DVLA documentary about minimum fucking tyre tread depths".

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Stuart Hall, Rolf Harris and Max Clifford walk into a bar. Barman says not Yew Tree again

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Went to Tesco turns out they had a special on. He collects the trollies.

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dstream

6 years ago-Crime-Theft

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she asked me “Is that the best you can do?”

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6 years ago-Other-Family

I wish my ex could look down from heaven and see me now. But nooooooo the mother fucker is still alive.

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7 years ago-Other-Wife

Finally found something today my wife looks good in. The distance.

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7 years ago-Other-Wordplay

My wife and I are having a competition on who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop. I've just taken the lead.

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Gay men are just fucking arseholes.

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4 years ago-Crime-Theft

Turns out someone has cloned my Microsoft Office License. I will find you, you have my Word.

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