Sickipedia

"For my next trick, I will make this young lady's virginity and dignity DISAPPEAR!!"

Phil Atio. I went to school with him. Loved oral sex. Dated a girl named Connie Lingus.

Betty Believeit. I went to school with her. Very honest girl.

That little girl, killed by a fallen tree, will have a lot of friends at her funeral... because she was so poplar.

As we're finding out, you can use gasoline with a Tesla.

Vinnie Gar? I went to school with him. What a douche!

The FBI offered a $50,000 reward to find the shooter. NYPD offered a $10,000 reward. UnitedHealthcare offered a $25 co-pay.

Liam finally got a hit... on the sidewalk.

A drunk stumbling through the woods comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He walks out into the water and bumps into the preacher. Almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, the preacher asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So, the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water, pulls him up and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” The preacher, shocked at his answer, dunks him again, a little longer this time. Pulling him out of the water again, he asks, “Now, have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” By this time the preacher, at his wits end, dunks him again – this time holding him down until he begins kicking his arms and legs. Then he pulls him up. The preacher again asks, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?” After first wiping his eyes and catching his breath, the drunk asks the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

Chuck Norris died six years ago. The Grim Reaper is too frightened to collect him.