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A drunk stumbling through the woods comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He walks out into the water and bumps into the preacher. Almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, the preacher asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So, the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water, pulls him up and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” The preacher, shocked at his answer, dunks him again, a little longer this time. Pulling him out of the water again, he asks, “Now, have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” By this time the preacher, at his wits end, dunks him again – this time holding him down until he begins kicking his arms and legs. Then he pulls him up. The preacher again asks, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?” After first wiping his eyes and catching his breath, the drunk asks the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Dear Democratic Socialists, Please stop comparing me to Trump. I'm one of you guys! Sincerely, Adolf Hitler.

innit

4 hours ago

If your woman put on weight over the holidays, suggest some exercise. Get her to walk 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening. By the end of January, the problem should be about 42 miles away.

bumblebee

4 hours ago

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say 'Nigel's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Nigel helped pick them out. Team effort."

pmmeyourtits

5 hours ago

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say, 'Chad's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Chad helped pick them out. Team effort."

redneon

6 hours ago

A hunter accidentally shoots himself in the genitals with his shotgun. A few hours later, while lying in a hospital bed, he’s approached by his doctor. Doctor: “The good news is, you’re going to be okay. The bad news is there’s some pretty significant buckshot damage to your penis, so I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.” Hunter: “Is she a plastic surgeon?” Doctor: “No. She plays the flute… she’ll teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your face.”

aloofloofah

7 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

redneon nice one

3 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

2 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

2 days ago - View Post

risco Old,childish and typical of this shitshow!

3 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 46.90

rahul

Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

johnnysins

Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00