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I think the car I just helped start must have belonged to a Midwife. I pushed and pushed then I shit myself.
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"Your Nan sucks cock!" Classic insult, not so funny when she's whispering it in your ear though.
46 people reacted
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"Shit!" I shouted to my lover when I heard my wife pull up the drive. Maybe not the best choice of words during a 69er.
18 people reacted
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"No, the Easter eggs haven't melted" I told my kids "You've collected a basket full of dog shit!"
18 people reacted
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"Do you take notes?" I asked the Pakistani bus driver. "Yes mate." He replied "Good, write I'm a smelly cunt and need to wash more."
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I'm really worried about Covid. What if they cure It and I can't think of an excuse to meet up with cunts?
15 people reacted
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I'm going to spam this site with jokes
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Come on Boris. When are you going to let us Brits get kicked out of pubs again?
13 people reacted
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I bought my elderly parents a fish tank. "Look they're moving! Fucking Hell, look it's eating the other ones shit!" I imagine the fish are thinking.
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I spent £1.50 on my gay boyfriend's wedding band. I know he likes shitty rings.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
01-
Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
02-
As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
03-
If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
04-
Do not repost from all time top list.
05-
Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
06-
No posting personal information.
07-
Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
08-
Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
09-
Child Exploitation content
10-
As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
11-
Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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