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dickmorningwood

Member since 7 years ago

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dickmorningwood

4 years ago-Other-Computers/Technology-Post Rating : 20

Me: "This show is boring." Boss: "Once again Dave, this is a Zoom conference."

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20

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I stormed the US Capitol building today, And all I got was this bloody t-shirt.

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3

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Other-Children-Post Rating : -1

Now that my son is old enough to do chores, Every day is Father's Day.

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-1

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News: Biden fractures foot while playing with dog. Normally, the injury occurs while removing his foot from his mouth.

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Sex and Shit-Gay-Post Rating : -1

I was shocked when Harry Styles appeared on the cover of Vogue wearing a ball gown. No strappy sandals and last season's colours?

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-1

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Obesity-Post Rating : 2

I put on so much weight during lockdown, When I walk into a room, my stomach gets there 3 seconds before my nose does.

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Racism-Irish-Post Rating : -2

Paddy: "I believe the earth is flat, but I'm not sure how thick it is." Murphy: "I believe you are thicker than the earth is."

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-2

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Racism-Mexicans-Post Rating : -1

Headline: "US-Mexico border: Parents of 545 separated children still not found." Fuck me, I didn't know a parent could have 545 children.

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A. An outside agitator. Q. What do you call a US president who visits a riot-torn city?

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dickmorningwood

5 years ago-Religion-Jewish-Post Rating : 8

"Just a little off the top." Said the rabbi, during the circumcision.

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