Sickipedia

I contacted my union rep and said "how do I become a member ?" he replied "first you have to pay the dues." ... I said "fuck the dues" he said "love your attitude, you should become a Labour councillor."

After watching Jeremy Corbyn at the labour party conference I can finally see him getting to number 10 ... as a replacement for Larry the cat , he doesn't know if he wants to be in or fucking out either.

I was walking out of the service station toilets and passed the cleaner walking in with a plunger in his hand...I thought I'd better get out of here quick! ... shits about to go down!

As I stood in the crowd at a local anti austerity protest, I was surrounded by people with signs saying ' NO CUTS'... a lady looked at my sign and said you obviously didn't get the emails, I replied "yes I did" as I stood there with my 'NO CUNTS' placcard.

Larry the Downing St cat has been put under house arrest for offering politicians meow meow at the front door.

Police are hunting a man who spent three hours licking a doorbell while the family slept inside. He started off fondling the knockers first.

I wonder if the speaker of the house John Bercow walks around at dinner party's with a tray of snacks shouting "hors d 'oeuvre, hors d 'oeuvre?"

Whilst the backdrop is in place a no deal Brexit or Theresa mays deal is unachievable... the only way to make these achievable is to kick Northern Ireland out the union, then Scotland would go for independence and probably get it leaving just Wales and England together... But then we could merge and call ourselves Wangland, how cool is that?

A little known fact is that kangaroos have 3 vaginas... Well it's good to know it's not only us Brits getting fucked left, right and centre at the moment.

So Trump pulls out of a an Armistice tribute due to bad weather. Its 'lest we forget' Donald! not, 'best not get wet.'