Sickipedia

Many parents are about to discover that the teacher was not the problem.

The latest book from Wales "101 ways to do lamb" There's even a few recipes in it

Dear Mother In Law, Don't teach me how to bring up my children. I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.

Following a sexist joke I made the other day, the Feminist Society now has my address. Fortunately none of them can read a map!

Albert Einstein was a genius but his brother Frank was a monster. Found it on the interweb, sorry if it's old

Fact of the day... there have been 2 different American presidents since Liverpool last scored a goal!

There is a big difference... between Men and Women when they say : "I finished a whole box of tissue watching that film last night..."

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it ! ************************8 Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.! ************************ The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So, I've got her a pair of football boots! ************************ Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup. ***********************! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! *********************** Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! ************************ My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me!

An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She asks him: "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?” "No girl, that is no longer possible for me” he replies. Says the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!?” They both go inside. They undress and then he acts like a young man and performs 5 times in a row. "Oh my goodness", says the hooker, breathless "and you said that it was no longer possible for you?!” Says the old man: “Oh, screwing is still going well, it's the paying for it that is no longer possible..”

What's the difference between a hippy girl and a muslim girl? One gets stoned before sex, and the other after sex.