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I asked my doctor if he could give me anything for depression. He said he had a spare ticket to an all female stand up night.
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Apparently you can't just request two Ukrainian schoolgirls with big tits.
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Scottish police officers are angry about having to be clean shaven. The men aren't too keen either.
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UK considers copying Denmark's immigration system. It would be more effective copying Nazi Germany's Jewish system.
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Black teenage boy stopped & searched in London 5 times in 6 months. That's dreadful, it should be 5 times a day.
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There's one positive about being a Palestinian this Christmas. Fewer presents to buy.
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You see gambling adverts online showing people going mental after a big win. It would be more realistic showing someone lose shit loads of money and they've just hanged themself.
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F1 was better when drivers died now and again.
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I told my wife about the big lottery win and that I'd be retiring from work She said "I'm going to retire as well". I replied "Fuck me, you won as well".
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Australian police have grave concerns over a TV presenter & his boyfriend. That's when I decided to have no concerns.
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