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My wife left me yesterday because I'm always using complex ways of sharing my emotions. I guess you could say I find myself enveloped in a profound sense of disheartenment, characterized by an overwhelming state of disillusionment and despondency, wherein my emotional equilibrium has been markedly perturbed, leaving me with an acute sense of uncertainty and a palpable diminution of hope.
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I met a new friend at the hospital today. He was an ultrasound bloke.
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My wife thinks it's ok to call me a dick. I'm here to tell you it's not. Yours sincerely, Richard.
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What does Nelson Mandela and your gran have in common? They're both dead
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The womens world cup was on recently... Apparently
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What's long and deep into your wife? Her intestines you dirty bastard.
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There's only 3 things I hate more than counting 1. Tomatoes 2. Sunday drivers 6. Sarcasm
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A muslim man walks into a bar, Barman says, 'welcome Abdul, the usual?' Abdul replies 'Sure, why not?!' So the barman beheads him.
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Vladimir Putin is said to be on his final straw. Someone let him know that Tesco are doing a pack of 10 for a quid.
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If I got shot for every time Piers Morgan interrupted someone I wouldn't even finish a sent
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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