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clungey

Member since 8 years ago

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Wheear 'ast tha bin sin' ah saw thee?

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

Statistically, 9 out of 7 people are thick as shit.

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My Paki neighbour Abdul has already started his Christmas countdown. Only one more shower to go.

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables so he told me to prove it. So I pushed him off a balcony.

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

I was driving past a school today and I saw a sign that read: 'Slow children playing.' I thought, "This must be the school Harvey Price goes to."

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

My wife said her body is like a temple. To be fair to her it is the fucking size of one.

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A woman stopped me in the street this morning and asked if I'd ever considered changing my energy provider. I said, "No, I'm quite happy with food."

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

I can't believe I got kicked out of Curry's PC World today. All I did was ask how much for the wog manager to cook me a lamb madras.

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I went out on the piss with my mate last night and he said I could crash on his sofa. His living room is now wrecked and my car is a fucking right off.

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clungey

8 years ago-Other-Stupid

I've just got first place in a national bullshitting competition. Well, I actually came 12th. To be honest, there wasn't even a competition.

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8 years ago-Other-Stupid

Marriage is just like an hand grenade. If you remove the ring, your house is gone.

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