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What's brown and sticky? Elton John's wedding ring.
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I developed a splitting headache and a feeling of nausea that wouldn't go away, I thought I'd contracted Ebola. Turns out it was just the next door neighbours playing the new U2 album
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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.
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When I die I want Justin Bieber to play at my funeral just so that my death is not the worst thing to happen to people that day.
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Did you hear about the Irish man who walked out of a bar?
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I'm writing this in a new font I've invented, that can only be read by idiots.
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I'm going to write a book on xenophobia, with pictures in it so Americans can enjoy it too.
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Scientists in America say they have just discovered signs of intelligent life. It said "Mexican Border 5 Miles".
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I had this girl the other night and by the way she was responding to my caresses, I could have sworn she was conscious.
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The traffic warden said, "You can't park there, it's reserved for the disabled". I said, "Fuck off you cunt, I've got Tourette's".
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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