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chum

Member since 7 years ago

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Despite widespread popular belief, I may not be the best Sickipedia contributor in the world.

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chum

6 months ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 18

How much does an anaphylactic shock cost? Peanuts.

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7 months ago-Other-Sarcasm-Post Rating : 18

Happy St. George's Day. Or, as it's more commonly known in England, Wednesday.

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7 months ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 16

Fuck. I missed my alarm to run in the London Marathon. Again.

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9 months ago-Sex and Shit-Cheating-Post Rating : 16

You're not cheating on her if she isn't giving you any.

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chum

6 months ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 14

The wife wants to sell our old Chinese bowl but it has a few chips in it. She'll have to wait until I've eaten them.

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7 months ago-Sex and Shit-Wife-Post Rating : 14

For our fifth wedding anniversary, I gave the wife two gifts of wood. First was my cock, then the coffin.

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7 months ago-Sex and Shit-Wife-Post Rating : 14

Nobody can hold a candle to my wife. She'll just grab it and shove it up her minge.

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9 months ago-Other-Wife-Post Rating : 14

The wife said to me, "I'd like you to enjoy the rest of your life if I die first. Find a good woman who'll look after you." I replied, "Thanks. I have."

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6 months ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 13

I phoned the garage and asked about my BMW's diagnostic check. The mechanic said, "There's no fault. That flickering light is called an indicator."

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9 months ago-Politics-Joe Biden -Post Rating : 13

Donald Trump said Zilensky's a dictator. How about Putin, Xi Jinping and Kim Jong Un? At least you knew what you were getting with Biden. He couldn't remember Putin, Xi Jinping and Kim Jong Un. And he didn't know who was in the White House.

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