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chum

Member since 7 years ago

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Despite widespread popular belief, I may not be the best Sickipedia contributor in the world.

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chum

4 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 12

I met my ex in town. She said, "How's your father?" I replied, "No thanks, you weren't all that."

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4 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 12

Tam Bourine I went to school with him. Nice kid, liked music. Shaky hands, though.

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5 months ago-Illness and Mortality-Obesity-Post Rating : 11

I've been married for 10 years. On the plus side, is my wife.

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"Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy." "Oy oy oy." "Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy." "Oy oy oy." "Ozzy." "Oy." "Ozzy," "Oy." "Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy." "Ugh..."

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5 months ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 10

To all American Star Wars fans... may the 4th be with you.

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5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 10

I told a new colleague I see my dad whenever I can, as he's lonely after mum died five years ago. He said, "I'm sorry to hear that." "Don't be," I replied, "I quite like him."

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Ozzy Osbourne didn't play cricket. Nobody would give him a bat.

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4 months ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 9

There was a mass attempt of people breaching the fences at Heaton Park, as Oasis took the stage. Police backup arrived. To keep them in.

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4 months ago-Sex and Shit-Masturbation-Post Rating : 9

My Doctor suggested I have a gastric sleeve. I said no and that I'd start using the other arm.

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5 months ago-Other-Children-Post Rating : 9

The boys just came down, gave me my card and presents, then fucked off back upstairs. Father's Day. For seeing your kids more than any other day.

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