Sickipedia

"It's important we remember the true meaning of Easter," says the Archbishop of Cadbury

You have to remember, that when it comes to taking off first aid plasters, there are no hard and fast rules.

You hard to remember, there's no hard and fast rule when it comes to ripping off band aids.

Are you OK? I saw on the news the special needs bus had flipped over and I know you don't like to wear your helmet because you can't lick the windows

I was getting a tattoo done on my back the other day of an Indian. I said to the tattoo artist, "Make sure you don't forget his tomahawk". "Give me a chance", he said. "I haven't finished his turban yet."

In history I was learning about Galileo. I already knew that he was a poor boy, from a poor family.

My wife said she didn't need me anymore. So I sneaked into the kitchen and tightened all the lids.

Pirate: The cannons be ready, captain. Captain: Are.

Paddy goes to the doctor and tells him that every time he goes for a shit it comes out like chips. The doctor immediately grabs a pair of scissors and tells Paddy to drop his trousers. "Fuck me doctor! What are you going to do with them?" "Relax Paddy" says the doc." I'm just going to cut a couple of inches off your string vest"

Last year my mate Dave overdosed on Indian spices. He spent a month in a korma.