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What do you call an Asian with a bad leg? A Muslimp.
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Some cunt asked me if i wanted to donate to their charity before... That's like asking Angelina Jolie for a titwank.
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Fee fie fo fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman Clearly Jack wasn't from Birmingham
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What do you call a Brummy who fixes TV aerials? Antennae.
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Got kicked out of the pub last night at the Stand up to Cancer quiz. When asked which famous castle was irreparably damaged by smoke in the 90s, apparently "Roy" was an inappropriate answer...
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Personalised number plates can cost hundreds of pounds, but it only costs £36 to change your name to BK62 NVM.
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I see a 15yr old kid has been shot outside a Maccy Dees in Coventry? Ba da bab bab baah...
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I was at a bar last night when a blonde girl walked over and put her hand down the front of my jeans. "Hmm, what are these for?" she asked. "4?" I replied.
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Apparently a flock of seagulls have attacked a little girl 2 days after killing the family dog. It's also being said it was the same 'gang' who abducted a Chihuahua last week. I never liked any of their music to be fair.
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I have no beef with vegans.
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